How to Help a Teenager With Low Self-Esteem

How to Help a Teenager With Low Self-Esteem

When parents or guardians notice their teenager struggling with low self-esteem, it can be both heartbreaking and daunting. Self-esteem issues during the teenage years are not uncommon, yet knowing how to help a teenager with low self-esteem requires patience, understanding, and several proactive steps.

What Is Self-Esteem?

According to Weber State University, self-esteem measures how much we value ourselves. It’s our opinion of ourselves and plays a significant role in our motivation, emotional well-being, and overall mental health. High self-esteem means accepting ourselves, believing in our abilities, and recognizing our worth, whereas low self-esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feelings of inadequacy.

The Importance of Self-Esteem in Teenagers

During the teenage years, self-esteem becomes particularly crucial as this is a formative time for developing a sense of self-identity. Teenagers discover who they are, establish their values, and try to find their place in the world. At this vulnerable development stage, knowing how to help a teenager with low self-esteem becomes a critical task for parents, guardians, and educators, linked to various positive outcomes such as better relationships, academic success, and a greater willingness to try new things. It protects against mental health issues and helps teens navigate life’s challenges with resilience.

7 Common Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Teenagers

Recognizing symptoms is the first step to take an to help a teenager with low self-esteem. Below are some of the most common ones.

Constantly Putting Themselves Down

One of the most telling signs of low self-esteem is when teenagers frequently criticize themselves. They might make negative comments about their appearance, intelligence, abilities, or worth as a person, indicating that they don’t see themselves positively.

Fear of Failure

Teenagers with low self-esteem often exhibit a significant fear of failure. They might avoid new challenges or give up easily, thinking they won’t succeed anyway, which can limit their experiences and growth, making it essential to address how to help them overcome these fears.

Social Withdrawal

Teens struggling with self-esteem might pull back from social situations. They may feel like they don’t belong or are not liked, leading to isolation and loneliness, which is crucial for intervening early and providing the needed support.

Overly Concerned with What Others Think

If a teenager constantly worries about others’ opinions and strives to please everyone, it might indicate low self-esteem. They may change their interests, appearance, or opinions to fit in, showing they aren’t confident in their self-identity.

Neglecting Their Own Needs

Teens with low self-esteem often neglect their health, hobbies, or well-being because they feel they’re not worth the effort. This neglect is a strong sign that they need support building their self-esteem.

Academic Struggles

While not every teen with academic issues has low self-esteem, a sudden drop in grades can be a red flag. It might indicate that they don’t believe in their ability to succeed, especially if they also avoid asking for help due to fear of judgment.

Sensitivity to Criticism

Teens with low self-esteem often react strongly to criticism. They may take constructive feedback personally and feel deeply hurt by it, which can further erode their self-worth and make it hard for them to benefit from guidance.

How Family Can Help: 12 Strategies to Support Teenagers with Low Self-Esteem

Boosting Confidence in Young Minds

Self-esteem can be fragile during the teenage years, a phase packed with challenges and transitions. As teens navigate these waters, their self-esteem can take hits that leave them feeling less confident. Thus, learning how to help a teenager with low self-esteem is vital for any parent, teacher, or mentor.

Building Open Communication

It is key to create an environment where teens feel safe to express themselves without fear of dismissal or ridicule. Inviting them to share their feelings and truly listening to what they have to say is foundational to helping a teenager with low self-esteem. This practice helps them feel heard and valued.

Cultivating a Positive Self-View

A critical aspect of how to help a teenager with low self-esteem is encouraging them to spot and focus on their positive qualities. Compliment their efforts and achievements, however small, and remind them often of their strengths and worth, reinforcing a positive belief in themselves.

Embracing Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

It’s crucial to teach teens that failure and mistakes are not the end of the world but part of the learning process. By reframing setbacks as chances for growth, you can ease the pressure to be perfect and help build resilience, an essential component of self-esteem.

Encouraging Social Connectedness

Being part of a group where they feel accepted can be a huge self-esteem booster. Social engagement can provide a sense of belonging, whether it’s through sports, music, or a club. This type of community allows for mutual support, which is instrumental in shaping how to help a teenager with low self-esteem.

Highlighting the Importance of Body Image

Teenagers often struggle with body image due to societal or peer pressure. Teach them about body positivity and the diversity of human bodies, help them appreciate their unique traits, and model a healthy relationship with your body.

Promoting Goal-Setting

Setting achievable goals can give teens a roadmap to success. When they meet these goals, they feel accomplished, and finding out how to help a teenager with low self-esteem often includes guiding them in defining and pursuing their personal objectives.

Limiting Negative Influences

The company teens keep, and the media they consume can heavily influence their self-esteem. Encouraging them to spend time with positive individuals and to engage with uplifting content can protect their self-worth.

Introducing Healthy Routines

Regular exercise and a balanced diet do wonders for mood and self-esteem. When a teenager feels good physically, it can improve their overall outlook, and sharing self-care tips is a practical part of how to help a teenager with low self-esteem.

Acknowledging Emotions

Teenagers are often on an emotional rollercoaster. Validating their feelings and allowing them to express them teaches them that it’s okay to feel complex emotions—this acceptance nurtures their self-esteem.

Seeking Professional Assistance

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, a teen might need more support than we can give. Professional therapists can offer specialized guidance, and knowing when and how to seek help is crucial in determining how to help a teenager with low self-esteem.

Offering Consistent Support

Consistent backing from trusted adults provides a safety net for teens through all the ups and downs. Your continued support assures them they are not alone, which is powerfully affirming and beneficial to their self-image.

10 Ways on How Professionals Can Help Teenagers with Low Self-Esteem

Understanding the Roots of Low Self-Esteem

Before professionals can effectively address self-esteem issues, they try to understand the roots of these feelings. It begins with engaging the teen in conversation and creating a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions. This process helps the professionals identify specific triggers and patterns that impact the teen’s self-esteem.

Building Trust and Open Communication

One key step in helping a teenager with low self-esteem is developing a trusting relationship. Whether it’s a counselor, therapist, or teacher, trust is fundamental. Through consistent and nonjudgmental dialogues, professionals can encourage teens to open up about their insecurities, which is a critical step toward addressing deeper issues.

Setting Realistic Goals

Professionals help teens set achievable, realistic goals. Goal-setting is an effective way to improve self-esteem and empower teens. Accomplishing these goals gives teens a sense of achievement and helps cultivate a mindset that values progress and recognizes personal growth, key elements in building self-confidence.

Cognitive Behavioral Techniques

Many therapists use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to teach teens how to recognize and alter negative thought patterns. CBT involves identifying negative, often unrealistic, thoughts and challenging them. This method is highly effective in showing teens how to alter their perceptions, which can greatly impact their self-esteem.

Group Therapy Sessions

Sometimes, knowing that others are going through similar challenges can be comforting. Group therapy provides a platform for teens to express their feelings and learn from the experiences of others. It also helps normalize their struggles, providing peer support and lessening feelings of isolation.

Encouraging Positive Relationships

Professionals often emphasize the importance of healthy, positive relationships in a teen’s life. They might work with the teen to explore their current relationships and develop strategies to strengthen them. They also encourage the teen to engage in social activities that can lead to positive interactions, fostering support networks crucial for building self-esteem.

Role Playing and Social Skills Training

Low self-esteem can sometimes be tied to poor social skills. Therapists might use role-playing exercises to help teens practice social interactions and gain confidence in their communication skills. This training allows teens to feel more prepared and less anxious in social situations, which in turn helps improve their self-image.

Therapy Through Creative Expressions

Art, music, and drama therapies are excellent ways for teens to express their feelings nonverbally, which can be easier for some. These therapies help teens process their emotions and can lead to insights they might not have achieved through traditional talking therapies. Engaging in creative activities allows teens to find new ways to express themselves and gain confidence in their abilities and talents.

Positive Feedback

Moreover, professionals know the importance of feedback. Giving constructive feedback and plenty of praise can motivate teens and help build their self-esteem. When teens know they are doing something well, it reinforces their capability and worth.

Monitoring Progress

Professionals trained in helping teenagers with low self-esteem know that progress can be slow and non-linear. They track small successes and setbacks, providing a clear picture of the teen’s progress over time. Keeping both the teen and, if appropriate, their family informed about this progress is essential for continued support and adaptation of strategies.

Final Thoughts

Boosting a teenager’s self-esteem is a multifaceted process that involves understanding, support, and strategic interventions. Fostering a positive and encouraging environment, promoting independence, and seeking professional guidance support your teenager in building a stronger sense of self.

How to Help a Teenager With Low Self-Esteem

Helping a teenager with low self-esteem is a journey that requires patience, empathy, and unwavering support.

At Relate Counseling, we provide a range of therapies tailored to address the unique challenges young people face.

From marriage and couples counseling to family therapy and individual support for issues like anxiety and depression, our licensed and experienced therapists are committed to fostering meaningful and secure connections.  Don’t let low self-esteem hold back someone you care about.

Explore our services at Relate Counseling and reach out to us today.


From enhancing communication to resolving conflicts and strengthening bonds, our services are tailored to foster meaningful and secure connections within your restructured family.

Learn more about how we can support you at Relate Counseling. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact us. Let’s work together toward healing and strengthening your family bonds.